Are you in a “conscious” romantic relationship?

Have you ever noticed couples who seem to be in a wonderful harmony together? Have you wondered what makes their relationship work? Would you like to improve your romantic relationship to the extent that you would feel in complete harmony with your partner?  By reflecting on the following secrets, you can discover new ways to improve the quality of your relationship.

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. reveals the secrets to finding everlasting fulfillment in romantic relationships .  Dr. Hendrix  is one of the pioneers in the psychology of love relationships and ways to transform relationships into a lasting source of love and companionship.  He describes an ideal romantic relationship as a “conscious relationship” or a “passionate friendship”.

I have found that couples who somehow instinctively know and apply the following secrets, seem to have more passionate, loving, and satisfying relationships. Wouldn’t you like to take your relationship to a higher level?

Ten Characteristics of a Conscious Marriage/Relationship

1- Your love relationship has a hidden purpose: the healing of childhood wounds. In other words, you are aware of your own and your partner’s childhood wounds and you create an emotionally safe environment where you heal one another’s childhood wounds in your daily interactions.

2- You create a more accurate image of your partner. Instead of trying to fit your partner into your adolescent fantasies and expecting your partner to be your savior, you are able to see and accept your partner for who he is she really is.

3- You take responsibility for communicating your needs and desires to your partner. You let go of the idea that your partner needs to read your mind and just know your needs.  You understand that communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

4- You become more intentional in your interactions. You don’t blurt out what comes to your mind and behave in ways that might be hurtful to your relationship.  You train yourself to be constructive in your relationship at all times.

5- You learn to value your partner’s needs and wishes as highly as you value your own. In a healthy relationship, you let go of the fantasy of your partner as someone who is there to take care of you and you learn to focus on meeting your partner’s needs instead.

6- You embrace the dark side of your personality. When you finally take responsibility for your faults and weaknesses, you no longer have the urge to project you own negative traits onto your partner.

7- You learn new techniques to satisfy your basic needs and desires. When you stop blaming your partner for not meeting your needs or demanding that he or she would meet your needs, you are pleasantly surprised to find your partner as a wonderful resource.

8- You search within yourself for the strengths and abilities you are lacking. One reason you were attracted to your partner is that your partner had strengths and abilities that you lacked.  This gave you an illusory sense of wholeness.  By developing the strengths and traits you lack, you find an everlasting feeling of integrity and completeness.

9-  You become more aware of your drive to be loving and whole and united with the universe.  We are born with a natural ability to give and  love unconditionally.  In a healthy relationship, you are able to fulfill your potential and rediscover your original nature.

10- You accept the difficulty of creating a good marriage.  Unfortunately, most people think that in order to have a successful relationship, they need to pick the right partner.  The reality is that in order to have a successful relationship, you need to be the right partner.  Instead of expecting your partner to change, take full responsibility for creating a good relationship.